“What is the greatest wonder? Each day death strikes, and we live as though we were immortal. This is the greatest wonder.” – The Mahabharata
Let’s get to something uncomfortably real, shall we?
Death.
The attachment to life is the mother of all attachments, which is another name for the fear of death or non-existence.
Have you ever thought about yours? How about the death of your family and friends?
For many of us, death is a morbid topic. But death isn’t morbid, fear is morbid.
Death doesn’t oppose life, fear opposes life.
Most of us live in societies where death is avoided at all cost, not knowing that the liberation we seek is in turning towards death not away from it.
We avoid thinking about death because it’s uncomfortable and why should you when it’s not your time yet?
Well, here is why.
Death is the key to life because death gives life shape and context. So fear of death is fear of life.
Your subconscious fear of death is limiting your experience of life in ways you’re not aware of.
Imagine a man living in a small attic. It’s dark, there’s bad ventilation, so going outside might be a good idea. But to leave the attic he has to walk down a staircase and God knows many people fall and break their necks descending stairs. And what about streets? Many people get hit by cars. Descending stairs and crossing streets are way too risky for the man, so he rather stays in his safe little attic.
This is how many of us live our lives.
You might say that that’s not true but just reflect on all the risks you have not taken and ask yourself why.
We all live in our safe little attics, some more some less, but rarely do we venture out into the open.
We are scared to lose this life so we never start living it.
Part of the illusion is that death is something that will occur in the future, while in fact, every day is Doomsday.
Death doesn’t need a huge ceremony. There is no moment too mundane for death.
Now, what can we do about it?
The answer is death awareness or memento mori – contemplate your death.
Many spiritual practices claim to be transformative but are not.
Death awareness, however, is the real deal because it provides an accurate barometer of your spiritual sincerity.
If we can’t face the most fundamental fact of our own existence, what can we face?
How to Practice Death Awareness
“For those who seek to understand it, death is a highly creative force. The highest spiritual values of life can originate from the thought and study of death.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
What we need to know is that death awareness is about life awareness, which is about waking up. It really has nothing to do with dying.
Another thing to consider is that one wake-up call is usually not enough. We need hundreds of wake-up calls, preferably every day and that’s what the practice of death awareness is about.
Essentially, there are two aspects of practicing death awareness.
The first is to face your own death. Here are a few examples of how you can do this:
• Before every meal, be aware that this might be your last meal.
• While doing anything, be aware that someone died doing exactly that same thing.
• Whenever, you’re afraid to take a risk, imagine you were to die tomorrow.
The second aspect is to face the death of loved people (and things). For most of us, this will hurt more than facing our own death.
Many of us cannot bear to even think about the death of a loved one. But to the degree that we are unable to think of the death of other people, to that degree we are already dead.
So, the solution is to face the death of loved people (and things) now.
Here is one of the most painful and liberating things you can do (at least for me it is):
Take the people most important to you one at a time and imagine they are dead or lost or separated from you forever. In your heart to each of them say thank you and goodbye.
This seems quite radical, I know.
You will experience pain but what follows is a disappearance of clinging. Then a solitude will arise which will grow and grow like the vast blue sky.
In that solitude is true freedom.
You will be able to enjoy things, people, and experiences on a non-clinging basis free from anxiety, tension, and insecurity. Free from the fear of loss and death.
Few people dare to do this but I assure you, death awareness is truly transformative.
In the end, we will all die anyway, so it’s really a non-issue. And since we will all die anyway, it can’t be that bad at all.
Death is breathing down your neck right now, so why not make friends with it and live a life of true freedom?
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“To begin depriving death of its greatest advantage over us, let us adopt a way clean contrary to that common one; let us deprive death of its strangeness, let us frequent it, let us get used to it; let us have nothing more often in mind than death. We do not know where death awaits us: so let us wait for it everywhere. To practice death is to practice freedom. A man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave.” – Michel de Montaigne
Luka
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God blessed you Luka! Thank you so much for this useful article. I’m released from fear now and moved in a life of appreciation🙏🏽.