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You probably know a person who is extremely passionate about something. For instance, this one guy who is so passionate about watching birds that he calls this his life purpose.
Whenever I encounter I person who completely merges with their main interest I’m in awe.
For one because it’s inspiring to see someone in intense passion about something. The second reason is my wondering how?
How do you find this one thing that consumes your whole being for the rest of your life?
I mean this in a positive way.
And what is a life purpose anyway?
To me, life seems way too multifaceted to narrow it down to just one thing.
After wrestling with the concept of finding my life purpose for as long as I can remember, I now share with you what I have discovered along the way.
The Truth About Your Life Purpose
Here are some hard to swallow pills:
• Your life purpose won’t just shine down on you from the sky like a divine light of inspiration. (Probably)
• Your life purpose is not something you find and then you are done with it.
• Your life purpose is not just one thing patiently waiting to be discovered.
I was always interested in many different things. But I was only interested for so long until something else caught my attention. I realized that I knew a little about a lot.
And because society hammers you with the belief that “you have to find something you want to do for the rest of your life”, it felt like a loss every time I dropped something after a month or a year… or a day.
At the same time, I believed that I will eventually stumble upon my life purpose.
With time I got frustrated.
And whenever I saw someone who seemed to have found his or her purpose in life I wondered when I will find mine. (mind you I was only 20 at that time, lol)
This all changed when I realized something significant. Who decided that there is just one way to approach this?
And this led to the next question:
Who decided that every person on the planet has the same blueprint? And this blueprint includes one purpose you have to uncover?
And eventually, I concluded that the concept of having one thing you do (like sewing rugs out of old pajamas) as your purpose in life is ridiculous.
I decided I want to create a life that feels purposeful in all areas of it. I don’t just want to have one thing I identify with strongly.
It’s like people emphasizing that working hard will solve all your problems.
Sure, you may have business success. But in the end, you neglect all the remaining areas of your life that give you joy and fulfillment.
Oh and another point.
I know we would all like to have someone else serve us our life purpose on a silver platter.
But the truth is that you are the only person responsible.
8 Steps to Discover Your Life Purpose (For Real)
The following steps and questions might give you an Aha moment or they “just” move you closer to your true core.
Nonetheless, if you go through the following list your life purpose will get more clear.
1. Stop Doing Start Being
When most people think about finding their life purpose they think about a whole lot of doing.
That’s the way how it was for me for a good amount of time.
After consuming countless motivational videos, articles, books, and so on I started to feel like doing is the only thing worth caring about.
I desperately tried to figure out what to do next.
I was striving to find an answer. But the more I was striving to find an answer to what to do, the more things I had found I could do.
I was considering so many things that I started to feel a sense of overwhelm enveloping me like a storm. I was so desperate to find an answer that I was resisting everything that wanted to come to me.
But when my resistance was at its peak and I finally gave up trying to figure out what to do a shift occurred.
Suddenly there was room for a new question. And this new question was empowering and liberating at the same time.
Who do I want to be?
Most of us know who we want to be. Perhaps not in the most concrete I want to be a lawyer kind of way. But in an I want to be free, I want to be loving, I want to be helpful, I want to be myself kind of way.
For me, this was a shift because I knew who I wanted to be. So the next logical step was to just be who I wanted to be.
This almost sounds too simple but often we like to make things more difficult than they are.
Ask yourself how would you feel if you were free, loving, helpful, rich, fulfilled, etc. And then find ways to tap into those feelings.
Focus on the things in your life that evoke those feelings. Think of moments when you experienced those feelings.
You don’t have to go from doing to being to find your life purpose. Turn this equation around.
If you don’t know what to do start with being. Then doing will take care of itself.
And before you know it you are living your life purpose.
2. Don’t Reserve Yourself
Reserving yourself is a true buzzkill for the universe. What do I mean by reserving yourself?
Reserving yourself is not giving your best and keeping opportunities at bay in the hope something better might arise.
But this is exactly what will keep you stuck in a cycle of not knowing your life purpose.
Always give your best.
This doesn’t mean being the best ever all the time. It just means to give your best at that moment. And your best may vary from moment to moment.
So, if you are working at a cashier register be the best damn cashier you can be. Even if being a cashier is not your life purpose. It rarely is for most people.
If you give your best in each situation you are sending a message out to the universe. You are immersing yourself in life.
And suddenly the universe will start sending you opportunities. And those will lead to other opportunities. And before you know it, you are knees deep in your life purpose.
Reserving yourself for something better to come is denying the present moment. And keep in mind that that’s the only moment you’ll ever have.
3. Start to Play
Do you remember when as a child you did things just for fun?
Good times, am I right?
Well, why don’t you do this anymore?
During our upbringing, we get implanted with the belief that everything must serve a purpose.
Everything you do must get you further in life. Don’t “waste” your time with something fun.
At some point, you start to believe those things. And suddenly you stop doing the thing that always brought you joy. And why? Because others say it’s wasting time.
But the truth is that playing is essential for finding your life purpose.
Start doing things for the sake of it not to gain something from it.
How often do you decline an exciting-sounding adventure because you rather do something that promises future gain?
It’s good to have a great vision for your future. But this should not come at the expense of not enjoying your life right now.
Reconnect with your inner child and ask yourself what you enjoyed doing. And then do it again. This might be where your purpose is hiding.
Perhaps you stopped folding paper airplanes because it seemed worthless. Or you stopped playing the harmonica because getting good grades was more important. Or you stopped drawing comics because you were “not good” at it.
Start doing things for fun and new possibilities and insights will arise.
4. Do The One Thing that Scares You Most
Every one of us has (at least) one thing right now that is a huge leap towards our purpose in life. It is this one thing you have been avoiding for a long time.
But it has been lingering in your subconscious all the time, beckoning you to face it.
And every time it’s making itself known you suppress it.
Often when we tell ourselves we don’t know what the next step is, we actually do know what it is.
For instance, someone who is unhappy with their job might say: “I don’t know what to do.” But the answer is simple. Quit your job. I know this is easier said than done. But life-changing decisions are often scary.
What’s the one thing that you are avoiding?
Be honest with yourself. It usually won’t take longer than 5 minutes to discover what it is.
And it doesn’t have to be a career or business-related thing. It might be having an uncomfortable conversation with your spouse.
When you start doing the things that scare you the most, but you know deep down that you want to do them great changes will happen.
Living your purpose in life is a constant decision to act on what is true to your highest self.
And what is true to your highest self will usually lead to growth.
And contrary to the popular belief, fear is not something to be avoided.
Sure, when you live in hunter-gatherer times and a sabertooth tiger shows up, fear might be a sign to avoid it.
But nowadays we rarely experience this type of fear.
The fear we experience is a different type.
It’s the type of fear that tells us, “Hey there something new and exciting there, you might want to take a look.”
Fear is excitement in disguise. Act on your excitement.
5. Look for Ways to Serve and Help
When trying to discover a purpose in life people are often stuck in self-centeredness.
All that matters is me, myself, and I. What do I want? How can I get more? What do I want to do? How can I make people like me?
Often this will frustrate you. Therefore, it might be helpful to try another approach. Look for ways to serve and help others.
By interacting with other people your unique talents will emerge naturally. And often it’s other people who recognize them first.
This may sound like a surprise to you, but your life purpose is not just about you. Because life only becomes purposeful if you use your unique talents for the greater good.
You might be thinking now: “Well I would like to save the world but I don’t know how.” My answer is to start with baby steps, tiger.
For instance, you might be good at cooking but don’t know how this can translate into a life purpose.
See if you can teach a cooking lesson. Or start a blog about cooking. Or go a more traditional route and open a restaurant. Ask yourself how my abilities as a chef can not only serve my belly but the bellies of others.
In the end, it doesn’t even have to be something specific. Just help and serve people in whatever way feels right and authentic to you.
This will not only put you on your track to discover your life purpose but improve your life quality.
6. Sit Down and Write
Sit down and write. As simple as that. What should you write you ask? It doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that put your thoughts to paper.
This really helps to clear up mental clutter.
When I started my writing process, I committed to writing one A5 page in my journal every night. This was and still is a truly transformative habit.
Your thinking will get clearer and interesting thoughts and insights will come up.
That’s why it’s also best to not filter yourself. Don’t think about grammar or whether it’s well written. Just let whatever comes up pour out of you.
Another approach is to ask yourself the question: “What is my life purpose?”
And then you just write whatever comes up. You do this until something comes up that resonates with you deeply. Something that sends shivers down your spine, or makes you tear up with joy.
It may take 10, 20, 50, or even 100 tries until you get something that resonates deeply.
At some stage, you might find something that sort of feels right. That’s a good sign, you are almost there. Don’t stop now and bring that baby home.
7. Get Up and Act
I know I know, in the beginning, I said stop doing start being. But what I’m saying here is not contradicting my first point.
Although acting and doing can mean the same thing, I want to make a distinction here.
To act, the way I mean it’s purposeful or inspired doing. Because when you are in a state of being, that feels authentic to you, inspiration to act will inevitably arise.
Oh and by the way being doesn’t equal thinking or reflecting.
It’s easy being an armchair philosopher thinking about the purpose of life. But by sitting around and thinking about it you will not reach a satisfying answer.
Sure, reflection serves a purpose. But most of the time it’s not serving your life purpose.
How do you know if something might be your thing if you have never tried it?
I’m sure you have a list of things in your head you would like to try. Well, write all those things down and then start with one.
Everyone knows the “I want to try this and that” type of person who never actually tries anything new. Do you want to be that person?
If your current life is not revealing a purpose in life for you that’s a sign. You have to change something. And a good way is to go out and try something new.
So many people wonder why their life lacks meaning and doesn’t change. Yet, they themselves never do anything differently.
You’ll find your life purpose when you start acting on all the good ideas and inspirations you have. Don’t just sit around and let them go to waste.
If your initial feeling about an idea is elevation, almost like a high, act! That’s your intuition speaking to you, so you better not ignore it.
8. Observe How You Feel After Anything
Activities that are aligned with your true authentic being, usually give you energy. That’s your intuition telling you, “Yes more of this please!”
After doing some writing or painting, for instance, I feel energized. This is a clear sign for me that these are activities that align with me.
In comparison, activities that are probably not part of your life purpose drain you of energy.
If you do something and afterward feel like you have been hit by a truck, then you might question if this is true to yourself.
And I’m not talking about the good type of feeling depleted and relaxed like after a good workout. What I’m talking about usually feels more like exhaustion and tension at the same time.
Also, if you feel the dread of going to work on Monday on Sunday evenings, then this job might not be the optimal job choice.
Start paying attention to your energy. Observe your emotions around activities and really listen to what they’re telling you.
Many of us nowadays are disconnected from our emotions. But emotions are an important guiding force in finding your life purpose.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Finally, I want to give you some questions you can ask yourself. If you don’t have an answer that’s fine. Just the act of asking these questions will get universal cogs turning.
• What do I want to experience?
• What are my most important values?
• What did I like to do as a child?
• What are my talents?
• How can I use these talents to serve others?
• Who do I want to be?
• What do I want to have my life look like?
• What is my purpose in life?
In fact, some of these questions may not even be supposed to be answered.
Or you can use them as the basis for writing as mentioned earlier. Here it’s important to not get stuck on finding the right answer.
It’s more about letting go of the need to find an answer. By doing this you are making room for the answers to spontaneously emerge.
Ask yourself these questions and then be attentive to everything that happens in your life.
Often the answers to questions present themselves in the external world. This might be in songs, books, conversations, experiences, or other activities.
And who knows, the answer to what your life purpose is might emerge in this way too.
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“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” – Rumi
Luka
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Thank you so much for this blog .
I found it helpful
You’re welcome, I’m glad it helped!
Big thanks. Loved every word!
You’re most welcome!
Once I aligned with this, resistance and baggage starting letting itself go and I feel spiritually charged practically all the time. Getting this going makes finding other purposes easier, and it just becomes a self perpetuating non-action.