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Having problems in life is one of those things we all share.
But what sucks is that most of us are constantly spending our time putting out fires.
There is rarely a time when we are not preoccupied with dealing with a problem inside our minds. Though it’s not really dealing with it but polishing it mentally.
Although it seems like an inevitable truth that we’ll always be at the mercy of problems in life, we don’t have to be.
How, you wonder?
Well, there are different ways to go about it, but how about we ask the most important question first.
Do Problems Exist?
“Problems only exist in the human mind.” – Anthony de Mello
“Duh, of course, do problems exist, I’m having a handful of them right now.”
But do they though?
What exactly are problems?
Well, every problem we have in life is an experience we deem unwanted.
You might be low on money, so you think you have a money problem. But the matter of fact is that the problem doesn’t exist, it’s a label.
There is a certain amount of money, which the mind decides is not enough, which it then labels as a problem.
For one person being unemployed is a problem, for another person, it’s a blessing.
The idea of a problem arises only in conjecture with labels like bad and wrong, and negative emotions.
If being unemployed evokes fear and worry, you will think it’s wrong to be unemployed because you might starve to death. So you have a problem. If being unemployed evokes a sense of freedom and novelty, you will think it’s right because it leads you to new opportunities. Here you have no problem.
See what I’m getting at?
Every problem in life is a label by the mind, it doesn’t exist in reality, including the mind. We all, at some point in our lives, have labeled the mind a problem.
And even mind is just a label we have put on thoughts and feelings. But if the mind is the one labeling who has labeled the mind?
The mind of course!
Can you see what kind of silly game consciousness is playing with itself?
Problems (including the mind) are appearances in consciousness like everything else. Yet as soon as ‘I’ enters the arena, it wants to wrestle these appearances down.
But every experience arises and disappears by itself (including problems) without you having to do anything. That’s the nature of experience, it has a beginning and an end.
How to Solve Problems
“You never question the solutions. If you really question the solutions, you will have to question the ones who have offered you those solutions. But sentimentality stands in the way of your rejecting not only the solutions, but those who have offered you the solutions. Questioning that requires a tremendous courage on your part.” – U.G. Krishnamurti
Now that we have determined that problems in life do not exist outside of our minds, let’s see how to solve problems.
Although I want to warn you, this is not about solving problems in the traditional sense.
Traditional problem-solving just leads to more problems. So, getting rid of problems by solving them will get you nowhere.
Similarly, we don’t look for solutions. It’s more of a clear seeing what the problem really is.
Well, then.
Have you ever asked yourself what would happen if you’d let the fire burn without trying to put it out?
Perhaps the fire is burning for a reason like to prevent an even bigger fire? Or perhaps there is no fire at all? What if your perception is attuned to seeing fires everywhere it looks (we already confirmed that)?
We think that when we perceive problems, the sensible thing to do is focus on the problem. But as you probably have experienced in your own life, the more you focus on a problem the bigger it gets.
All you see is problem with no solution in sight.
But, I’m sure you have also experienced the opposite, releasing control and suddenly problems were solving themselves.
This doesn’t mean that we should look for a solution, as solutions are simply the harbingers of more problems.
The fact is that you can’t solve problems by remaining in the same frame of mind you were in when you started perceiving the problem. That’s some Albert Einstein wisdom for ya.
Now, let’s get into three ways to deal with any problems in life. Although, again, it’s not a “dealing with” in a traditional sense.
Whenever you seem to have a problem, try one of the following approaches.
Expand Your Awareness
Often, the solution to a problem is right next to the problem. But because we’re so focused on the problem (i.e., tunnel awareness) we can’t see the obvious solution.
So, to get out of tunnel awareness, all you need to do is establish a state of open awareness.
What this entails is relaxation combined with becoming aware of what’s in the periphery of your awareness (e.g., sounds that are far away, everything in your peripheral vision, subtle physical sensations, etc.)
In my experience, open awareness has proven very useful in dealing with all kinds of life problems. Sometimes the solution would immediately present itself, other times, I recognized that the problem was not a problem at all.
If you want to be guided into open awareness you can download my free guided meditation here: Guided Open Awareness Meditation
Remove Your Attention
This is a more radical approach you can use in combination with open awareness.
When you have a life problem to which you can’t see a solution, don’t wrestle with the problem, instead, redirect your attention.
Do something that brings you joy or demands your full attention. As your thoughts stop feeding the problem, its momentum will slow down.
It sounds crazy, I know, but just think about all those times when you have subjected yourself to endless mental suffering by constantly thinking about a problem.
This is something, we as humans, have difficulty understanding because we think it is our duty in life to solve problems.
But the thing is we are the ones who create problems in the first place.
When you stop feeding the problem with your attention it will most likely solve itself.
Recognize That Problems Don’t Exist
The first two approaches are only valid if you can’t see the one and only Truth, which, when seen, renders the first two approaches irrelevant.
This approach, which is not really an approach, is the recognition that there is no individual self to whom problems happen.
We have touched upon this before but let’s be honest.
When you’re knees deep in life problems, and they start running into your shoes and make them all soggy, it’s difficult to see that there are no problems.
Yet this is the only way to have no problems anymore, recognizing that the person the problems refer to is as much a creation of mind as the problem itself.
Or to put it another way, problems exist only in the context of “your story,” which is completely made up.
Most of us are not ready for this as we love the idea of being special snowflakes in a sea of snowflakes.
Yet this whole no self thing is not a philosophy or an idea.
You are already no self, there was never a separate individual self. So this is not about adopting a new belief but about seeing clearly what is.
When the ego is seen as illusionary, all problems automatically lose their power because they’re referring to that illusion.
Here is an analogy to make this clear:
Imagine your job was to get a truck full of water to fill up a waterhole in the desert. You’re having a real meltdown trying to figure out how the truck is possibly going to drive on the sand. But as you go to have another look at the waterhole, it suddenly disappears right in front of your eyes. The waterhole was a fata morgana. Now, do you still try to figure out how to get the truck out there?
A simple inquiry for this is to ask yourself “Who is having the problem?” Then, try to find the self that is having the problem.
What you’ll find is the ‘I’ thought (which obviously is not you). A thought can’t have problems, can it?
You’ll also find a sense of ‘I’ or Aliveness (which may or may not be you).
Anything you are aware of is not you, which is kind of a helpless situation because anything you might find that could be you is something you are aware of.
So, is it you that’s aware?
That’s a good question to ponder, I would say.
And how can that which is have problems when it is all that is?
Final Note
“What do you have to do? Pack your bags, Go to the station without them, Catch the train, And leave your self behind.” – Wei Wu Wei
Your life problems probably won’t disappear overnight.
Things happen, some of them are cool, some of them are not so cool but rarely do they mean the end of the world.
Relax and give yourself some time to breathe. You can’t solve your way out of problems. There will never come a day when you’ll solve your last problem in life, and then you’re done with life problems forever.
To be free from problems is to see that problems exist only in the context of unquestioned assumptions.
The only way to be done with problems is to be done with the belief in a separate self.
But this is not what most spiritual seekers want to hear. We would like to keep our individuality and be one with all that is.
That’s not how this works though. You can’t wake up and keep dreaming. It’s either having the cake or eating it, both are impossible.
Until then, however, put the above-mentioned to use and you’ll see problems dissolving into thin air left and right.
And on a final final note.
Don’t take it all so seriously.
Your individual life is a speck of sand in a vast cosmic desert in the mind of a universal overlord who is a side character in a TV show about space dolphins, which is just one of the shows on the infinite screen of cosmic delights.
So, how important can your problems really be?
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“The solution to your problems is to see who has it.” – Ramana Maharshi
Luka
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I really enjoyed this post, thanks! Olivier, Bruges
Glad you enjoyed it, Olivier!