If you’re reading this I know you’ve worked on yourself plenty.
You’ve laid all your problems out, felt every emotion there is, turned the lights on, faced the shadows, and done all you could to fix whatever you believed needed fixing.
At what point are you done with all that?
At what point have you had enough?
You’ve had enough when more work on yourself seems absurd.
You know that anything from here on out only confirms and strengthens the obsolete idea of being an imperfect individual in need of some serious fixing. You know that any fixing is just keeping an artificial division alive — a you that needs to be fixed and you that does the fixing.
My suggestion here is not the right thing for everyone.
You’ll know if it’s right for you. You can feel it.
All of us embark on a journey of improvement and development because we believe there is some perfect version of us — a human that no longer needs to be worked on.
We also believe it will take a lot of time. So we comfortably settle into the identity of being someone who works on themselves. And as the years go by this (working on ourselves) somehow has become part of us.
It was no longer a screwdriver to tighten a screw but another layer to the problem we imagined we are.
And because it seems like such a never-ending task some people proclaim it is lifetime(s) of work.
It’s just something you have to keep doing, to keep yourself from defaulting into the imagined problem you believe yourself to be, despite all the work on yourself.
You forgot that you wanted to break the addiction to a fixed identity and instead turned the act of breaking that addiction into the main component of your identity.
Right now, you will know if I’m talking to you or not.
You’re afraid to let the never-ending work on yourself go. You fear you might miss something vital. Just one more screw to tighten, one more spring to adjust, perhaps a little oil to grease the wheels.
But you feel the irresistible pull — a pull beckoning you towards freedom. It might seem heretic, a bit naughty even. Can I really choose to be okay right now? Is freedom only a choice away?
In the beginning, it sure as hell didn’t seem so. It didn’t even seem like it could seem to be so.
But now it not only seems to be so; it seems to be the only missing puzzle piece. You’ve tried everything else and trying everything else has led you to a point of decision:
Do you want to keep working on the person, knowing it’s irrelevant, or do you release yourself into life?
You never wanted to be a human who’s so busy fixing themselves that they miss living the life they hoped to live when they’re done fixing themselves.
You never got on the healing journey just to remain on the healing journey.
You got on it because it promised a life where you’re free from all the self-inflicted suffering. It promised a life where your mind is no longer a source of pain.
You wanted to be a human who danced through life, who was free from the compulsion of seeing wrong in themselves.
You didn’t want to be a spiritual person. You wanted to be happy.
You wanted to end the fight not become a war general. The fight can end now.
You’ve seen all there is to see about yourself. You’ve dived deep and wide.
You already know the problems you’ve been trying to fix for years by wrestling them to the ground can’t be fixed like that. Any more of the same would be insanity.
You can stop this now. This is an actual choice. You’ve been feeling the urge to make it.
You can choose freedom now.
Accept yourself as you are right now in the full knowing that it’s all perfect the way it is. Anything from here on out is not about improving the person but about choosing and welcoming experience.
If you’re looking for a permission slip, let this be it.
You can stop fixing the person.
You don’t need to be at war with yourself. You can cease living the life of a tactician and soldier. Stop fighting your problems and they will stop fighting back.
I know you’re afraid. But it’s safe.
You can let it go.
The life you worked towards was never about being a specific person or having any specific stuff. It was always about how you live life, how you hold your head. You can decide to live that life now.
There is nothing more to seek. You know all there is to know. You know that you’ve only been seeking for yourself.
If you’re now thinking that I’m condoning spiritual bypassing or feeling offended by what you read, then this might not be the message for you.
If you’re convinced you need to keep working on yourself so you can relax and accept yourself, then keep doing it. You’ll know when you’ve had your fill.
This is not about bypassing. There is nothing more to bypass.
This is about choosing and allowing that what you’ve always felt deep inside.
The moment you stop working on yourself, you accept everything about yourself. You bridge the imagined division. You surrender to life.
Allow yourself to be who you are, not as a fixed identity but as a fluid experience.
The fixed identity, the person that needed improving, was only ever an idea in the mind, a conceptual echo from pure existence. There was never a person, only an experience.
And if you’re still with me, then you know that you’re no longer improving a person but choosing who you want to be on a moment-to-moment basis.
Luka
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This literally gave a new way to live life. specially the line where you state. Allow yourself to be who you are, not as a fixed identity but as a fluid experience. it just makes me wanna live again like i used to, and i have read most of your writings and your book “start living effortlessly” i can for sure tell that you are a good writer, you have been motivating me a lot to change the way i live… but i want to question, how do i find the driving force to motivate me to do my work?… Read more »