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When we use the expression “face reality,” we usually want to tell someone else to stop bullshitting themselves. But do we really know what this really entails? What is reality? How do you face reality? Can you face reality?
Let’s see if we can change the meaning of this common expression to fit my own agenda.
How to Not Face Reality
When we talk about facing reality, we basically mean that this deluded person we’re addressing should drop their wishful thinking and look at things the way they really are.
But what we’re really saying is that this person should look at things from our perspective, as if our perspective is the real reality perspective.
What we tend to be in the dark about, however, is that there is no real perspective.
The ironic thing is that most of us have no idea what looking at things the way they really are really entails. We think it means looking at reality honestly, and we’re right. But even if we take this advice, we’re not looking at reality honestly. Instead, we look through the lens of society that determines how to live life, what’s important, and what we should do.
That’s not reality. That’s just another, less fun, perception based on a belief system.
Facing reality doesn’t mean wallowing in the gutters of your seemingly real problems by perpetuating their emotional energy.
Many of us assume it means believing the thoughts and emotions that give us shit the whole day about not having achieved our desired life yet. But that’s just buying into the unwanted story, which, of course, is not reality.
This however doesn’t mean that you should try hard to convince yourself that everything is fine when it’s not. Honesty is your guiding light. If you’re suffering, you’re suffering, and every attempt at convincing you of the opposite is just another crusty layer assisting you in avoiding your suffering.
Before you can move beyond appearances, you have to be willing to face all appearances. Stop the sugarcoating. Wash the gum out of your eyes, get your flashlight, and start looking into the dark corners you’ve masterfully avoided your whole life.
Claiming that everything is okay, while your house is on fire is the biggest disservice you can do to yourself.
Although this is already a big step, failing to remain vigilant could mean stepping into a big muddy ditch and remaining stuck there. Don’t mistake your first honest look for your final honest look. If you suffer because your life sucks, that’s okay, or maybe not. Whether it’s okay or not okay, you’d be wise not to remain in the dirt.
After acknowledging that you’re in the gutter, the next step is not learning to be happy and content in the gutter, but getting your ass out of there.
In the movie The Matrix, Neo “leaves” the matrix and finds himself in a subterranean wasteland controlled by machine overlords. That’s your situation after being honest with yourself and leaving your imaginary land of all is well. Now, however, you’re in an imaginary land of all is everything but well.
Other than Neo, you can decide to keep moving. After all, why would you remain in a place where there is no sun and all you have for food is snotty snot soup?
Reality is not darkness and snot soup. Reality is not concepts. Reality is what’s left when you look behind concepts. It sounds easy but usually, it’s anything but easy.
The good news though is that it’s simple.
How to Face Reality
To face reality, there are just two simple steps involved.
1. Use the power of your focus to think things through without the influence of your emotions.
2. Look in your direct experience and see that subject/object division isn’t actually to be found in direct experience.
Under step 1 you use logic to disprove the existence of anything (at least in the way that we usually think of existing). See that a world outside of your perception isn’t possible.
Most of us take it for granted that we are individual mostly hairless apes playing with each other inside a world with which we interact. But that’s neither logical nor possible.
You might be thinking that saying an objective world doesn’t exist is crazy talk, and I agree that it sounds like crazy talk. But only because it sounds crazy, doesn’t mean that you can just brush it off as wishy-washy spiritual beliefs.
Actually, what I’m suggesting here is the exact opposite of believing in fairy tales.
Believing in fairy tales is what most of us do our whole lives and the existence of an objective world is the mother of all fairy tales. The reason you’re thinking this sounds crazy is that you haven’t spent time seriously questioning your most fundamental assumptions.
I’m not saying that you should believe me. I’m saying to really think about this. Can there be an objective world? Not is there one but can there be one?
Most of us accept that reality is not concepts (thoughts/words about reality) but most of us also don’t take it to its full conclusion.
To pour some oil into your fire that is soon to envelop the whole world, you can use step 2.
Step 2 is looking directly into your experience to see if you can confirm the existence of a self aka you which is the perceiver perceiving perceptions. When you think you hear a sound, ask yourself if this is really what’s going on. Can you, for example, draw a clear line between you (the apparent hearer), hearing, and sound?
Of course you can’t because there is none.
The trifecta of perceiver, perceiving, perceived is only conceptual, not real.
If we were to sum this whole facing reality endeavor up in one sentence, it would be this: Question the foundation of your belief system and take a fresh look at what you assumed so far to be real.
Eventually, hopefully, this will make you aware that there is no you in the sense in which we usually think of “you’s” and that there’s nothing outside consciousness. Consciousness is all there and that is. A reminder: The word consciousness is not the point here.
The result is that there is no you to face anything. The moment you face reality, reality obliterates you. At best we can say that it’s consciousness facing itself, which is kind of right, but also not.
Why Would You Want to Face Reality?
That’s a serious question. Ask yourself why you would want to face reality. What do you hope you’ll get from this? What do you think facing reality means?
If you don’t have a serious burning discontent about nothing in particular or everything in particular, then maybe there’s no reason to face reality. Maybe this whole facing reality thing isn’t what you really want.
There’s no great price you’re going to get and no one’s going to congratulate you. It’s not something you need to do because sooner or later you can’t avoid it.
But if it’s not a great spiritual accomplishment that’ll make you holier than all the sleeping sheeple around you, then what’s the point? Well, there is none. But this doesn’t mean that everything will just stay the same, which it kind of will but also not.
Without all the obstructions between you and life, which really means there is no you and life, only life (or use any other word you like) everything is less sticky and spiky. Everything just seems smoother and more intuitive.
When you fully understand that reality is not as real as it wants us to believe, things might get weird for a while.
Understanding that there is nothing outside of experiencing may give you a sense of haunting. There is no outside of the dream. Dreaming is all there is.
The waking up part is seeing for yourself that all there is outside your experience is nothing. This nothing is not a conceptual nothing because there is no such thing. Imagining nothing will at best conjure a white or black blank, which is conceptual and hence not nothing.
After the initial shock (which sounds more intense than it might be in your actual experience), your thoughts, emotions, and actions will start adapting to this insight. Your relationship with life will shift, which doesn’t mean that there is a separation between you and life. This shift is exactly recognizing that there is no separation between you and life — there is no relationship because there are no two parties that could form a relationship.
All of this won’t feel like a fancy state of consciousness. If anything, it’s the normal state of consciousness — just good ol’ regular consciousness. If you want altered states of consciousness or mystical experiences, there are easier ways.
No amount of describing the indescribable will get you there. Instead, come have a look, I guess.
Luka
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