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Fear is often demonized as the thing we need to rid ourselves of to reach our highest spiritual potential. But let’s be honest here for a second (perhaps even a minute).
How is this ridding ourselves of fear working out for most of us?
Not good, I’d say.
That is because we approach fear fearfully. We are afraid of fear. We feel ourselves at the mercy of fear.
It’s like dealing with our parents when we were children. We bargain with them in the hopes of getting at least something, yet always knowing that in the end, we get the short end of the stick. We want to cross the street without looking left or right, but all we get is ten more minutes of hide and seek in front of the house.
But you’re no longer a child (at least, not physically), so it might be the right time to stand up to your parents. Just in case, there’s a misunderstanding, we’re talking about fear, not your parents. But if it helps you, you might as well stand up to your parents.
Anyway, spiritual work is not about trying to topple, transform, or sugarcoat fear. That simply doesn’t work and you know it doesn’t. You have tried, haven’t you?
The real spiritual work is surrendering to fear fully and completely.
How Fear Is Controlling Your Life
Most of the fear we experience in modern times is not an actual I-have-to-run-away-from-a-sabertooth tiger fear, but an I’m-seeing-things-that-aren’t-there-thus-I’m-frightened fear.
Fear is an acronym for false evidence appearing real. Not really, but it fits pretty well. Just think about how many things you’re avoiding because you believe the fear-based narrative your mind is spinning.
Hell, how many of us are never living the life we want because we never question this narrative?
How often have you heard the classic example of people lying on their deathbed saying they wish they wouldn’t have been afraid to do this thing they always wanted to do?
And you probably thought to yourself, “No way am I going to end up regretting my life like this!”
Well, what happened to this conviction?
Avoiding fear is a powerful tranquilizer and sleeping aid. Most of the time you won’t even realize you’ve fallen back to sleep until something shakes you up. Some people need a near-death experience and for others, a visit to the graveyard might be sufficient.
But for many, and this is the devious thing the ego does, this shaking up is seen as something bad, like construction noises that need to be shut off so you can go back to sleep.
Listen to the noise. It’s there to remind you that you wanted to get up out of bed.
Whenever you’re excited about doing something new or even risky, see how fear stands right next to excitement. And because your mind doesn’t like fear, it will tell you not to go there.
But your mind has no clue. Don’t believe your mind. Your mind is not yours to begin with.
Your mind is a semi-random collection of thoughts, ideas, opinions, and beliefs that you’ve picked up over your life. None of it comes from you. Your mind is like the mental representation of all the people you’ve ever come into contact with.
Now the only question is do you want to live your life according to other people, or see where the untrodden path may lead?
The Spiritual Purpose of Fear
There is so much love and light spirituality out there, that we tend to forget that love and light are not an end but a tool. I’ve fallen into that trap myself headfirst.
After all, who doesn’t like to hear that they’re love and light and all they need to do is to be a bliss bunny to reach a state of happily ever after?
But if everything was already light, what do you need the light for?
We can try to convince ourselves as much as we like of the love and light narrative but deep down we all know there’s something lurking in the shadows and we’re afraid of looking. If we do not use the flashlight to illuminate the dark creepy corners of the attic, chances are pretty slim that we know what’s actually there.
So fear is nothing but an invitation to look. Actually, fear makes it really simple. We don’t even have to figure out where to look, fear tells us. But looking takes courage, which might not be so easy.
You muster the courage to look by no longer bearing not to look. When you’re sick of deceiving yourself and living a life controlled by fear that’s when you pick up the flashlight and walk up to the attic, or down the cellar, or both. Demons hide in many places.
A little comment: If you believe that in the final equation everything is love, or light, or consciousness, or awareness, or nothing, or whatever-it-is, that’s fine by me. But we’re not talking about belief here. Believing that everything is love, or light, or etc., is not the same as knowing. For knowing to occur, belief must be discarded.
Honesty and Fear on the Spiritual Path
All this work begins with one very important first step, which is honesty. You must be radically honest with yourself. You can’t deceive yourself and hope to make any real progress on this front.
Look inside. Don’t act like you’re looking inside. Don’t think about looking. Really look!
When you really look (not just think), fear will arise. This is quite natural. It’s like standing in front of a cliff knowing you’re about to jump. Who wouldn’t be afraid?
See how most of your actions are based on fear. Virtually all we’re doing is striving for security, approval, and control. And all this is fear-based. And the base fear is the fear of non-existence.
That’s why I said it won’t be easy. That’s why the spiritual path is not about believing anything (that is if we consider the spiritual path to be a path to freedom/truth). It’s not about being a more “spiritual” person but about seeing through personhood.
Know that no matter which spiritual path you take, it always leads to and through fear.
So, at some point on your spiritual journey (perhaps right now), you’ll have to decide whether you’ll keep convincing yourself that the boogeyman is not there or muster all your courage to face him head-on.
Deep Inquiry Into Fear
When your desire for no longer being at the mercy of fear is strong enough, you’ll intuitively step in the right direction. Because there is only one right direction—toward fear.
If you feel like you don’t know what you’re afraid of or how to get in touch with fear, set some time aside and ask yourself some honest questions:
“What am I most afraid of?”
“In what circumstances do I experience fear most reliably?”
“Where is fear right now?”
When you experience fear, get your flashlight out and shine the light of awareness on it. Look at the fear. See what it really is.
Why are you afraid of fear? Is there anything to be afraid of? Is fear anything but physical sensations in the body? And do these physical sensations mean anything or is your mind making up the meaning as you go?
Then, look behind the fear. What is fear trying to protect? What is there to protect? Spoiler: Fear protects nothing.
At this point, your mind will start saying things like, “what if I do not make it?” “what if I go crazy?” “what if I die?”
Are you going to believe your mind and stop the inquiry or are you going deeper?
Here is a cognitive dissonance I’ve noticed in my own spiritual work.
Many of us spiritual folks say things like it’s not about the rational mind and it’s not logical etc. But then we let our minds convince us with logic and rationality to avoid the spiritual work we say we want to do.
So, it’s best you know this right off the bat. Your ego-mind will do anything to distract you from this work. It will do anything to avoid looking at fear. And do you know why?
Because fear is the final frontier protecting the illusion of the ego. The result of surrendering to fear and looking deeply over and over again is the recognition that the ego has never existed. And that’s why no one likes doing this.
Working with fear is a kind of spiritual suicide.
But this is where the real work is done. And if you do this work with focus, then fear will no longer be the boogeyman you’ll want to avoid.
When You’re No Longer Afraid
When you deeply surrender to fear, the first thing that’ll happen is that you’re no longer afraid of fear.
Fear might still arise, but you no longer have to urge to run away. This in and of itself is a huge liberation.
Not only will you no longer feel guarded in the face of fear but you’ll also start doing the things you want to despite fear. Many of us never dare live the life we want to because of fear.
But when you’re no longer afraid of fear, then you can take fear by its hand and walk side by side with it.
Keep on looking and surrendering to the fear and you’ll understand it. And when you understand it fully, it no longer has any control. And when fear has no control, it will be a less and less frequent visitor in your life.
After all, most fear is only dreaded when it’s in the periphery of your awareness. But if you bring it into focus, it starts evaporating like water on a hot stove. When fear is no longer in the periphery, it’s in constant evaporation.
That’s liberation. Living a life no longer controlled by fear.
Luka
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Light with life through the darkness of peace.